Winter magic

Hi there!

It’s been an awfully long time since I last posted and I’m sorry for that! I’ve been rather busy lately, but then again, that’s the common excuse isn’t it ;)

I’m currently on the halfway point of Insurgent and it’s AWESOME, so I decided to finish the book before continuing on Is this even justified? Part 2. Instead of writing another fanfic I made the rash decision to work on an original short story instead! Well actually if you think about it, it isn’t really much of a short story, in the sense that there is no specific plot involved. I would say that it’s a short piece of descriptive writing. I tried to make it as captivating as possible, and I would like to think that i did a good job with that. But then again, how captivating can a descriptive writing essay possibly be?

These few paragraphs are based on a snowy scene in winter. It started of as a boring description of snow and sky but I sort of picked up some ideas along the way, and I believe it has turned a little more interesting on that note :) Anyway, here it is! I hope you like it! Please like or comment on it, I would love to hear from you! A little constructive criticism can do nothing but improve :)

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Winter Magic

by Jodette,

I stand there, mesmerized by the beauty of it all. I gaze around me, so this is how being on top of the world feels like. Spread out like a painted canvas is the sky. I tilt my head back; the vast majority is a perfect mix of purple and blue, made rich with its cloudlessness. Beneath my bare feet, the soft white dust melts with the heat and molds into each other. A tingling sensation starts to rise from where they cake my soles, it’s stinging, cold, and almost painful- the dust must be working their magic.

If I look down into the distance, I see a sea of faint lights; they will be brighter at night. Rows of small houses sit at the foot of the mountain. The village is awake. I hear the carols, like little angels’, their voices in soothing unison. The melody makes me want to sing along, so I do.

All around me more dust falls.

They rest everywhere. The white specks of dust, like powder, powder the surface of the earth.  I try to imagine that underneath the piles of glimmering ivory, there is the potential for life. That dirt, soil and grime exists beneath this blanket, that the sweet scent of grass and blossoms will fill my nostrils this spring.

The dust dances against the sky, shivering as the wind picks up, then settling when it dies down. The flakes settle on my skin, pure white on baked brown. The moment we touch, they dissolve into tiny droplets that soak into my skin. The magic turns me pale beige, but it feels cooling and refreshing. I reach up to sweep off the dust that has settled on my hair, and they pour down like floating raindrops. My eyelashes are wet, my vision blurred, little dots follow me wherever I set eyes on. More magic.

But, about to be displayed in front of me is an evening miracle I cannot miss. I rub my eyes tiredly with the back of my hands and when I open them again, the sky is repainted. Swirls of gold and yellow splashed like water on paper, the clouds are faint but growing pink-blue gradients. Glowing rings of orange and yellow radiates out of a single circle, hanging proud and majestic in the lit sky.

The rings radiate outwards, rotating, protecting, and spreading. I can almost hear their soft whispers as they invade the entire sky. I watch with awe. With the blink of an eye, the golden is gone. And in it’s place are stars, strewn randomly, littered and glinting against it’s black background.

I was right; the lights below shine with vibrant colors as the night settles. I know I must hurry down the slopes. I fit my freezing feet into boots, click on my skis and push off. Tonight was the experience of a lifetime, but my family is waiting.

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3 thoughts on “Winter magic

  1. Hi yah! :D i really like this Winter Magic writing, i love the descriptions but please don’t get mad at me if i say is wanna give you some advice when i write stuff. Don’t repeat a word in a sentence “…like powder, powder the surface of the Earth.” don’t use powder twice, if i would change it to “like power, covering the surface of the Earth.” Something like that, but up to you on what you want to change it to. :D

    Sometimes, you should try to be more straightforward in your writing, Jodette.

    1. Hi!
      Really glad you liked my writing, I checked out your blog a while ago and I think you have a pretty good descriptive flair in your poetry!
      Thank you very much for this piece of constructive advice and please, do not hesitate to give criticism, I welcome them! In this case, I had repeated “powder” on intention, in attempt to enhance the visual of a powder-covered earth. However, I agree that it might not have been necessary, “covering” would have worked equally as well, if not better!
      I see what you mean about the straightforward bit. It is very important to be to-the-point when writing a narrative. However, since this was a piece of descriptive writing, there was not much of a specific plot to it, thus, there was no straightforward storyline that I was struggling to follow. Thank you though, I really treasure the advice, it will definitely help me improve my writing style!

      Best wishes,
      Jodette

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