My heart
aches, aches of you
a muscle; a pang of
jealousy, the wanting- it hurts
save me
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Hi! Cinquain here for the dVerse Poets :)
This was written truthfully… because my heart told me to <3
Loving someone can be painful… but it’s still worth loving :)
Love can hurt – and you’ve definitely captured that in your poem. The repetition of aches works really well – even though repetition in such a brief form is something I’d normally avoid.
Thank you! Yeah I agree- there are too few syllables to leave spare for repetitions in Cinquains but I hope having double times the ache was worth it! :D
smiles..i agree.. it’s always worth it.. jealousy is a dangerous thing though…it has power to destroy the heart as well..
Sad but true :/ We must try to contain the jealousy before it takes over us!
oh dang…yeah…it does…and jealousy def does not help…very cool use of the form..
Thanks! I did some experimentation :) And to jealousy- YIKES, get out of my head and out of my heart!
This is beautiful. The same intensity of my poem too. But my words are like nails and yours are like fragile wings in yours to me. (The sound of the words) Truly beautiful
Thank you! I think the words in your poem are much more powerful than nail-like… like they were meant to be read in one big gulp :)
Hello! I hope you don’t mind being nominated for a blog award.:) I’ve just nominated you for a HUG Award. Please click here for more info: http://eyedancers.wordpress.com/2013/03/29/a-hug-award-and-one-lovely-blog-award/ Thanks!–Mike